Ever since my Uncle Mark died, I have thought a lot about what I would say to him if I could have one more conversation with him. I have thought about a lot more than just this, but it is one of the consistent thoughts that continues to pop in my head. A few weeks ago, I felt like I needed to start telling each person that means a lot to me how I feel about he or she. I realize that life is very fragile and we never know our last breath. People may not remember me after I die, but for my own peace of mind, I would like for my close friends and family to know how much I love and cherish them now before I am dead and gone. So, I thought I would share this on my blog. I don’t know how often I will do this, because it takes time for me to articulate my thoughts, but I want to sort of pay tribute to a special person in my life once in awhile on this blog. So, I thought it would only be fitting to start with my husband, Josh Downing.

Josh, you are one of a kind. You are a special person...a unique, rare breed. When I think of how our relationship got started, it often makes me giggle. Never did I dream after the “me likie” scandal that you would be my husband roughly two years later. Never did I dream that I would marry someone with such life, joy, and crazy farting energy. I remember riding around in your truck when we first started dating and thinking that I would never be 100% comfortable with you or be able to just completely be myself....but that changed. Something changed inside of me when we were dating, but even more when we got married, and I became 100% comfortable with you. I wasn’t so freakishly nervous about my stomach growling or accidentally farting, or something stupid like that.
I’ve learned a lot since we got married...not only about you, but about myself. I know I am uptight. I know I nag. I know I have high/annoying standards. Standards that you like to refer to as your “mom’s standards,” but that’s ok. You have calmed me down. You have chilled me out...a little (hehe). You have helped me relax. You have inspired me to do things I never thought I would do.
Thank you for taking care of me. Thank you for loving me. Thank you for explaining things to me when I don’t understand and I want to know the WHY. Thank you for taking me on last minute trips. Thank you for waking me up early and taking me to breakfast. Thank you for being so generous, not only with me but with others. You have an EXTREMELY giving heart. I love love love this trait that you possess. Thank you for quality time on the porch. Thank you for sitting and rocking and talking to me when I don’t want to sit in silence. You know those are some of my favorite times.Thank you for having a better mouth than me. Thank you for not being a cusser. Thank you for not being a gossiper. Thank you for being you.

I love you, and I truly have a heart of thanksgiving for you. I really do. I know I don’t always come off this way. I know I get caught up in day to day tasks and busy work, and it isn’t always about “us.” You have shepherded me, and you have worked very hard. It does not go unnoticed. Thank you for trying to improve and always trying to be better. I really mean it. Thank you for being a hustler. I know we have already been through some crazy stuff in this short year and a half of marriage, and I know there will be much more to come in this crazy life. I’m glad I share it with you, and that we are one. There will be ups and downs, times of plenty, and times where we scale back. Times that I’m sure we will think, “wow, life couldn’t get any better than this,” and times where we will probably wonder what else could go wrong. A time where we will have babies of our own or adopt our future child. Time where we will welcome new life and new friends, and time where we will lose family and friends, and go through pain. I’m ready for all of that. I’m ready for it because God gave me you to be my help mate through it all. Thank you for cheering me up when I’ve been down these last 2 months. You know I have never experienced anything so painful, and it has only brought us closer. Thank you for trying to understand me even when you just can’t. Thank you for encouraging words. Thank you for hugs when you aren’t being goofy and you don’t crack my back (yes, this is a hint to please not crack my back...please and thank you) I love you.

By the way, it’s actually our year and 6 month anniversary today :) I knew there was a reason God called me to write about you this afternoon. I love you, J. I know you already know this, but sometimes you just have to shout it from the rooftops, and let the world know. Hopefully this hits your email inbox....otherwise, I will be your lame wife who will have to send you the link to this post tomorrow. I love you. I’d walk through anything with you.
1+1=3
-B