Ever have one of those divine moments where you just knew NO ONE and NOTHING but God Himself could've ordained that moment for you? I cling to these moments so much. In fact, I usually end up in tears after a moment like that just thanking God over and over again for meeting me where I need Him most. What's humbling is that He is always meeting me, but every now and then I feel like I really grasp it for a minute or two...and then it still seems as if my mind can't grasp His beauty, His grace, and His undying and unfailing love for me. Seriously, it's a beautiful beautiful thing, and yes it was necessary to say beautiful twice.
I am a person who struggles with over analyzing. I am a person who struggles with over thinking. I am a person who even though I love technology, STILL has to hand-write my to do list. I'm the person who can't let things go. I'm the person who says sorry and still beats myself up and thinks of the stupid stuff I said for hours and sometimes days. I'm the person who forgives you but continues to think on what you said that hurt me and if there's truth to what you said. Ah, just writing about all of my horrible tendencies is kind of making me shutter and cringe.
Well, friends.....this afternoon, God met me in a very special place. In fact, I like to think He just wanted to stop me dead in my tracks this afternoon. This morning, I woke up early, took my car to the shop, got my brother to pick me up at the shop and take me to work (we work together) and scrambled into work because I was a few minutes late, and I was a little flustered from the car ordeal. Then, it was kind of a hectic day for me....not the worst, but not the best. Let's face it....it's a Monday. Who likes 'em? If you do, please don't admit it to me because I will secretly think you are a brown-noser and I probably won't like you...unless you are my dad because sometimes I think he kinda like Mondays :) We are fasting corporately as a church right now, and I don't say this to brag or tell the world that I'm fasting, but I share it as a part of the story of how God met me today.
Anyway, it was kind of a long day. I was rushing around getting stuff done, sending emails to customers, answering phones, etc. etc. and rushed out of work late with my brother to go pick up my car before the shop closed. From the dealership, I rushed again to the post office before it was closing as well. This is how I get sometimes.......I rush. I HATE rushing. Anyhow, I was next to the last person in line and was a little impatient. As I was about to leave, I heard one last straggler creep in and say "excuse me, ma'am...would you mind helping me before you close?" The post office lady said, "sorry. I'm done for the day." I was more than miffed that the lady wouldn't help her, and I was even more miffed when I saw who asked for help and realized it was a sweet woman from my church. If this lady at the post office knew who kind this lady from my church was, she would have stopped everything and helped this woman. I won't share her name here, but let me just take a minute to tell you about this person. I don't really know anything about her except that my mom loves her dearly. My mom has served next to her in different roles at church and has had a serious love for this woman. I have only met her on a few occasions and literally don't even know her last name. Anyhow, I said hey to this sweet girl and we walked outside and caught up. Let me reiterate, I don't know this woman at all....simply a first name basis thing here. We got to talking and I asked if she was fasting, and the next thing I knew it was like the floodgates of heaven opened, and she started encouraging me to stay with it. Today was one of those hard days during the fast. Some days are easier than others, and today I had sort of considered quitting. I hate to admit it, but I was justifying my thought process. At work, I thought....ya know what? I fasted 8 days. That was good enough. I'm hungry. I'm tired of this. God will be fine if I decide to go ahead and eat what I want again. I'm probably just going to eat. I feel like going out to dinner with my boo. I know he is probably tired of it as well. Let's just have a huge pity party tonight and go EAT whatever we want. I was battling myself all day, because I knew deep down I didn't want to do this. Seriously, God met me in one of those rough places. He used this lady to encourage me NOT to quit. I don't even know her and we had THE BEST conversation. You know those powerful conversations where someone just uplifts and encourages you and you're just like...Um......Satan ain't gon' messsss wit me today!!!! Wut da heck was I thinkin earlier? Pah....I considered eating junk tonight? Bahhhh. I'd rather starve then give in to da devil! OK, not sure why I went into gangsta speak, but sometimes I get that way when I get fired up. God was telling me, BELOVED....DON'T QUIT. I HAVE YOUR BACK. I LOVE YOU. STAY WITH ME. I WANT TO SHOW YOU THINGS ABOUT YOURSELF. I WANT TO SHOW YOU THINGS ABOUT WHAT I AM CALLING YOU TO. I WANT TO SHOW YOU HOW TO BE A BETTER FRIEND. I WANT TO SHOW YOU HOW TO SPEAK TO PEOPLE IN A MANNER THAT LEAVES THEM REJUVENATED AND ENCOURAGED WHEN THEY ARE DONE TALKING TO YOU. I WANT TO SHOW YOU HOW TO BE A BETTER WIFE. I WANT YOU TO FALL DEEPER IN LOVE WITH ME!!!!!!!!! HOW GLORIOUS!!!!! We serve a MIGHTY AND POWERFUL GOD, Y'ALL.
So, for any of those fasting, or for any of those just having one of those days, I'm gonna leave you with one of the last things this girl said to me. She said, "you know when it gets hard for me, I just remember that if I give in, I am ultimately giving up something that God might be trying to show me over these 21 days. I am giving in to losing the possibility of God doing a big work in me." Again, not that God can't speak to you when you're not fasting, but God does do some drastic things when you are fasting and you are super open to the Spirit. So basically, I just want to encourage you if you are a foodie like me and you are at the end of your rope, press on. Seriously, I didn't HAVE to go to the post office today. Heck, this girl didn't even get waited on by the girl at the post office. Do you think this is coincidence? She teaches over on the Northside and was over on the other side of town at the post office I usually go to. It's divine intervention, people! God is good!!!
"He makes me lie down in green pastures,
he leads me beside quiet waters"